Heritage Group at the Golf Dome March 19th
Did you happen to catch these factoids
March 19th in the local tabloids?
Golfers, twelve they say, ran
Eighteen holes faster than
Colorectal surgeons on steroids.
To the Golf Dome’s fair fairways they came,
To run obstacles some call insane:
A windmill at hole two,
A ball-eating igloo,
Swinging post and an oil pump arcane.
The very best team of the tourney
Was no doubt Glen and Les, Ed, and Dorothy.
Glen’s two Aces were great
Leslie’s Pars numbered eight,
And Parson Ed lauded Dorothy’s Fore-Forty.
Though Arlene, Rudy, Gina, and Bill
Came in second overall they were thrilled
With Gina’s five Bogeys,
Arlene’s big bad Birdie,
And Bill’s Snowman next to Rudy’s deft Diesel.
Team 3: John and Guy, Bob and Dale,
With Elena the token female,
Had the highest score yet,
From their laughter we’ll bet,
Had more fun than a barrel of primates.
The moral of this bad rhyme is this:
Don’t settle for sorrow, choose bliss.
Next time there’s an outing
There’s no sense in pouting
If you missed it ’cause you did not enlist.
- Glen: Lead Goose (low score of 48), 2 aces
- Ed: Parson (11 pars)
- Leslie: Parsonesse (8 pars)
- Arlene: Triple Crown (1 birdie, 6 pars, 5 bogeys)
- Rudy: Parakeet (1 birdie, 10 pars)
- Dorothy: Fore-Forty
- Elena: Bogey Lass (8)
- Bill: Bogey Man (5)
- Gina: Wild Turkey (1)
- Dale: Clay Pigeon (2)
- Bob: Snowman (1)
- John: Seven-Eleven
- Guy: Ace (1)
HG Golf Glossary
Ace (aka Hole-in-One): From tee into the hole with one stroke
Birdie: One stroke under Par
Bogey: One stroke over Par
Bogey Man: Male player sinking the most Bogeys
Bogey Lass: Female player sinking the most Bogeys
Clay Pigeon: Player scoring the most Birdies on a team
Diesel: Player with the most 2-stroke holes (from a diesel 2-stroke engine)
Fairway: The course between the tee and the green
Fore-forty: 4 Pars and 4 Bogeys (from the song “44 Blues”)
Lead Goose: Player with the lowest score overall
Par: Standard score for a hole
Parakeet: Highest combined number of Birdies and Pars
Parson: Male player with the most Pars
Parsonesse: Female player with the most Pars
Seven-Eleven: Player scoring 7 Pars and 4 Bogeys (7+4=11)
Snowman: Player taking 8 strokes on a single hole
Triple Crown: Highest combined number of Birdies, Pars, and Bogeys
Wild Turkey: Six consecutive Par or Bogey holes